In this blog post, I’m breaking down why the traditional engagement party might be more stress than it’s worth, and why taking an Engagement Moon was the best investment for our relationship. This site contains affiliate links, for all the details view the disclosure here.

Let’s keep it 100: The second that ring goes on your finger, the clock starts ticking.

You make it IG official by posting a pic, the likes roll in, and then – boom – within 24 hours the questions start rolling in. “When is the date?” “Have you looked at venues?” “Who is in the bridal party?”

Suddenly, you aren’t just a couple in love; you are Project Managers of a massive event. And the first hurdle on that track? The Engagement Party.

If you are reading this and feeling a knot in your stomach about planning another event before you’ve even planned the wedding, you are not alone. I thought about it, did some research and said “nah – we’re not doing that”.

We skipped the party. We kept our engagement a secret. And we went on an Engagement Moon instead.

Why Throw an Engagement Party?

An engagement party is more than just a party—it is the official “kickoff” to your wedding journey. While every couple’s timeline is different, the reasons for gathering usually stem from the same desire: to pause and enjoy the moment before the heavy planning begins.

Here are the main reasons couples choose to celebrate this marquee moment:

Building Momentum: If you plan on having a series of events leading up to the big day—like bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette trips, or a “Jack and Jill”—an engagement party helps build relationships early. By the time the wedding rolls around, your guests will already feel like old friends.

Marking the Milestone: Getting engaged is a huge life event! An engagement party allows you to soak in that “just said yes” glow and celebrate the commitment you’ve made to one another with your favorite people.

The “Ice Breaker” for VIPs: One of the biggest practical benefits is that it serves as a meet-and-greet. It is a low-pressure environment for your extended families and friend groups to mingle, often for the first time.

The Problem With Engagement Parties

I love a good party. I love the idea of being showered with love by our friends and family. Getting engaged is a milestone moment (I’m still shocked that it actually happened). But when we sat down to look at what planning an engagement party actually entails, it just seemed like a bag of stress.

According to wedding industry stats, the average engagement party now looks more like a Mini-Wedding. Here is the reality of what you have to figure out immediately:

1. The Guest List: Etiquette says anyone invited to the engagement party must be invited to the wedding. That means you have to lock in your wedding headcount (and budget!) before you’ve even picked a venue. The pressure is real.
2. Decisions. Decisions. Decisions: You have to find a space, hire a caterer, maybe get a photographer, and organize entertainment.
3. Here Comes the “Bride”: You have to find the perfect white outfit, have your hair and makeup done, and be “on” for 4+ hours, answering the same questions over and over again.

We looked at that list and said: No thanks.

We just wanted to be in our new love bubble.

The Engagement Moon

Instead of spending our budget on one night of hosting, we decided to invest in us.

An “Engagement Moon” (a term my mom actually coined for us) is exactly what it sounds like: A honeymoon, but before you start planning the wedding. It’s a pause button. It’s a chance to just be “me and my man” without anyone else.

The Cost Breakdown (The Math wasn’t Mathing) Let’s talk money, because this is where the decision became a no-brainer.

• Average Engagement Party: By the time you pay for a venue, food, alcohol, and decor for 50 people, you are easily looking at $2,000 – $3,000+. And that party lasts for a few hours.
• Our Engagement Moon: We booked a 12-night Panama Canal Crossing cruise with Holland America for a total cost? ~$2,500.

For the same price as a cocktail party, we had a two week adventure.

Our Trip: A Full Circle Moment

We decided to book the Holland America Rotterdam. We flew into Fort Lauderdale a day early, checked into the Le Méridien Dania Beach, went to a Peruvian Mexican Fusion Restaurant called Chile Limon. We had the best food.

The next day we boarded the Rotterdam. The ship where we met two year priors. Going back on board brought a flood of memories and was the perfect way to celebrate Fiancé Era.

The Itinerary: Fort Lauderdale → Half Moon Cay → Oranjestad, Aruba → Cartagena, Colombia → Panama Canal (Cristobal Locks) → Limon, Costa Rica → Montego Bay, Jamaica → back to Fort Lauderdale.

The ship, the hospitality, the food, the itinerary were amazing. We’re big fans and plan to sail with them again in the future. We felt very well taken care of and really enjoyed our experience overall.

The Secret: Here is the best part – we announce our engagement on social. Only our immediate families knew. We spent 12 days just holding that secret between us. No Instagram posts, no unsolicited advice from Aunt Susan. Just my boo and I.

The “No Wedding Talk” Rule

You would think that as soon as I became engaged that I wanted to immediately jump into wedding planning. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

That is why I loved that we had a strict rule for our trip: No wedding talk.

We didn’t go on an Engagement Moon to scroll Pinterest, figure out dates or decide on a budget. We went to pour into each other. We wanted to sit in the transition from “boyfriend and girlfriend” to “fiancé and fiancée” without any distractions.

It Wasn’t All Perfect

I don’t want to sell you a fantasy. Life follows you on vacation. I actually caught Norovirus on the ship. (If you know, you know. It was bad.) He took care of me, handled the un-sexy parts of being sick while on vacation and didn’t complain once.

Last Thoughts

If you are newly engaged, don’t succumb to the pressure of following all the “wedding rules and etiquette”. Do what works best for you and your partner.

If you are dreading having a party, skip it. Whether it’s a weekend stay-cation, a 12-night cruise, or something else – don’t rush it. Relish this once in a lifetime moment, that only happens once in your life (if you’re lucky).

What we packed