This post explores Not Everyone Wants to See You Succeed My thoughts on navigating naysayers, staying focused, and keeping momentum on your goals. This site contains affiliate links, for all the details view the disclosure here.

When you decide to transform your life and start leveling up, you naturally expect the people around you to clap. But the hard truth is that people don’t want to see you succeed when your growth challenges their comfort, identity, or control.

This is something that you may have already experienced with a family member, a friend, a coworker, a boss, or even someone you are dating. When people don’t want to see you succeed, they may discourage your growth, question your choices, or subtly pull you back to who you used to be.

It is a hard pill to swallow, but it is the reality of leveling up.

In the last 5 years, I have encountered this a number of times. I’ve built a community of over 2 million followers with Now It’s Clean. While that looks like success on the outside, the reaction from my personal circle wasn’t always applause. It stings and it hurts. However, I realized that while people in your circle don’t necessarily love to see you leveling up onto bigger and better things, it might not be what you think.

They could love you and care about you, but your glow up acts as a reminder that they might be standing still.

They may not be putting in the work that you are putting in. Watching you catch a break and flourish becomes a painful reminder of what is going on inside them. What they project onto you—which can come across as negative or unsupportive—is actually a reflection of themselves.

LEVELING UP IN SILENCE

When I started my social account Now It’s Clean, I did so anonymously. No one knew who I was. I was literally just making faceless cleaning videos with a voiceover.

I had no idea what would come of it. I was just putting this content out there and boom it started to take off.

I remember someone asking me, “Why aren’t you letting everyone know it’s you?”

Honestly, I believe it was better that way. I didn’t depend on family, friends, or colleagues to build my numbers. That was one of the best things I could have done. Often, people tell you to rely on your “tribe” to support you, especially in sales.

I remember being in a sales training class when I was selling real estate and they said: “Tell everyone you know that you’re selling real estate and they will support you.”

That was a BIG FAT LIE!

Maybe it works for some people, but it absolutely did not turn out that way for me. It was an incredibly hard pill to swallow and I cried many tears over the heartbreak of people I knew not choosing to do business with me.

Of course, they had every right to choose who they worked with. I realize now that I was just naive. I blindly believed the training that told me my friends would automatically be my clients.

But ultimately, that reality check was exactly what I needed. It forced me to rely on myself. I had to connect with new people who were genuinely attracted to what I was creating, rather than depending on the people I already knew. And honestly, I loved that I did it this way.

I am incredibly grateful that my immediate family has been supportive.

I will say this though: it is unfair to expect your family and friends to be your fans.

I’m a firm believer in doing things on the low. That way you don’t have to worry about what people “think”. It also helps you remove the friction that happens when you’re trying something new.

So, if you want to start a new YouTube channel about learning how to swim—do it! Don’t feel like you’re doing something stupid or worry about what people will think of you. Girl, if that is the headspace you are in, don’t tell anyone. Just do you.

Building a community of strangers who actually value what you offer can often serve you better. The people you know will come around once others embrace you—trust me.

“Do not expect anyone to be your fan. Be your own fan.”

Let the people who naturally come to you be your tribe. When people from your past realize, “Oh, she’s doing something and others are noticing,” that is often when they want to be part of the community. Sometimes people will watch from afar but won’t engage with what you’re doing. You have to be okay with that, too.

Whether it is jealousy or envy, energy doesn’t lie. Sometimes it’s not even malicious; it’s just that seeing you win reminds them that they might still be waiting for their breakthrough. Your timeline might be moving faster than theirs right now, and that can create friction.

Think of it like a job promotion. Sometimes, you have to leave a company to get levelled up because your current boss only sees you as the person you were five years ago. They can’t envision you as a leader because they have you boxed into your old role. Your circle can be the same way. They have you boxed into a specific version of yourself, and when you start growing out of that box, it makes them uneasy.

KEEP YOUR CIRCLE TIGHT

Be careful of “fair-weather friends.” I have met a lot of people in this industry where you can tell there is a specific vibe. I’ve been close friends with people who suddenly no longer like me. I’ve been acquaintances with people who are in your life for a season and then out.

Realize that sometimes the people you tell your business to are the people who will turn around and use it against you. I have been in instances where I shared ideas with people, and they activated on them quicker than I did. I have helped people secure positions only for them to have no need for me afterward.

The quicker I was able to identify these types of people, the better I learned how to move. Now, I prefer to keep the circle very tight. You don’t even know who my friends are, but they know who they are because I talk to them daily. Everyone else? We can have a good time when I see you, but it ends there.

BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER

Because I couldn’t rely on the people I knew, I realized I had to build a brand for the people I didn’t know yet.

I talk about being your own cheerleader because it is so important for life. Whether you are chasing a promotion, pivoting to a new career, or doing a complete “life 180,” you cannot assume everyone knows—or understands—what is going on with you.

My advice? If your current circle isn’t clapping, go find a new room. Take a course, join a club, or sit at a different table. Often, the strangers you meet in those spaces will be more encouraging of your new chapter than the people who have known you for years.

That is exactly why I decided to have an Instagram, a TikTok, a YouTube, and this blog—I am looking to unlock opportunities I can’t even imagine yet.

So, if you are waiting for permission or applause from your circle to start your next chapter, stop waiting. Start quietly. Start now. Because the support you are looking for is out there—you just haven’t met them yet.

Clock It

Honey, if you are on a journey to level up your life—I highly encourage you to do it.

I know it can feel impossible sometimes, but surrounding yourself with spaces that help you flourish is exactly what you need to keep believing in yourself. Read the books, network, watch the content, take the courses—do all the things to create the life you want.

And remember: you are living this life for you, not for anyone else. Not everyone is going to be on board, and that is okay.

Here are a few things to help you stay focused:

Read: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. If you want to understand the “Upper Limit Problem” and why people around us get weird when things start going too well, this is the book.

Read: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you are someone who tends to stay in your feelings or takes things personally, just read this.

Watch: The Devil Wears Prada. If you want to see an example of a partner who can’t handle the glow up, re-watch how Nate treats Andy.